I grew up in Canadian, TX and was blessed to be raised in a wonderful home full of love and grace. Even know I don’t know how my parents were able to deal with the “heck” that I gave them all those years because even though they overwhelmingly loved me, my life was lived in darkness and my heart was not awakened to reality of life in God. But to almost everyone, I was the one that had it made and had it all together. Even I thought that, but I was lost in my own deception and sin.
I graduated from Canadian High School in 2009 and this life of loss continued through college. It was during my college years where I met the most the most incredible woman and person I had ever known. She was so different and now I can see clearly what I was so drawn to in her: It was the LIFE of God in her. By God’s grace, she married me in 2012. Because of Amber, there was a lot of outward change that took place in my life, but my heart was still lost in darkness. I claimed to be a Christian and I thought I was but now I realize I had no real relationship with God. There was no surrender, there was no dependence, there was no trust, there was no true following, there was NO love. Life revolved around ME, what I wanted, what I desired, what I thought was best. I did church, but I wasn’t the church. I was walking the path of my own way and was so good at wearing multiple masks.
In 2013 I graduated from Texas Tech in Lubbock and moved to Abilene where Amber was attending college at McM. I was an absolute mess for the first 4 years of our marriage. Looking back, Amber would say during this time that I tried really hard to take care of her with the love that I could give but I had little to no concern for anyone else. I would have to agree. Because of the condition of my heart, my life revolved around taking, not giving. This caused devastating amounts of damage to her and those around me because of the life of sin I was living and the choices I was making. The energy of my life was focused on trying to be someone I felt like I could never be (good) and hiding the darkness I believed would never leave (bad). I know this sounds absolutely bleak, but I’m building up to the good part! So stay with me.
My end came at the end of 2016, life had crushed me. My strength to live was gone, the darkness was suffocating, and despair had overtaken me. My ability to control, manipulate, and maneuver my life was taken from me. I no longer could “numb” the depression and darkness that was pulling death’s curtain over every part of me. I felt like I had fallen into a place where there is no escape. Sounds like the end right? Well it was, the end of ME.
It was in this very place that I was awakened to the realization that my entire life was a “zero”, not just a little bit of my life, my whole life! And for the first time, I truly experienced godly sorrow for the wickedness of my sin, all the pain, all the hurt, all the suffering that my life had caused others in its entirety. God granted me repentance! It was at this moment that God was placing me into death so that He could bring me into HIS LIFE! He baptized me into Jesus through His Spirit and I was awakened in the power of His resurrection!
In this moment everything changed for me, LOVE was born inside of me because the light of LIFE was alive in me! Simply put, it was my moment of death to life! (Born again!) God was opening me up to the spiritual understanding of scripture like Galatians 2:20 and Romans 6.
When all of this took place, did I have all the language for this? Definitely not! But God revealed this to me: In my darkest season of life, I was running as fast as I could away from God but He was passionately pursuing me! God was at work. In the natural, it looked as if the enemy had won his victory over me, over my marriage, over my destiny, over my generational line, but in the Spirit, God was orchestrating my birth into HIS KINGDOM! It’s both amazing and perplexing!
At the time of TOTAL LOSS, where death was the only thing visible, God rescued me! He pulled me out of death and put me into the LIFE of His Son! Because that is who He is and that is what He does! He restores, redeems, and makes new ALL things! Has it been perfectly smooth? Hardly! We’ve walked through many difficulties, trials and challenges. But because of God, I’m now running with Him instead of running from Him. I’m now leading my family to Him instead of away from Him.
My precious wife, bless her! The gratitude and thankfulness that I have for her is too deep for words to express. She could have left me in my darkest hour but she stayed and declared God’s love, mercy and forgiveness for me and over me. I experienced God’s living grace and her unity with the Father through her life! The same goes for her family and my family.
God’s patience, mercy and compassion still astound me to this day. There aren’t powerful enough words to describe the wonders of his grace, forgiveness and love! By the incredible power of His grace, God made the impossible - possible. Remembering and experiencing how God takes sweet brokenness and transforms it into something totally NEW, from darkness to light, death to life, is what stirs up His JOY within me! We have to remember His faithfulness to live in His joy.
Unashamedly I can say: Until 26 years old, my reckless life was summarized by these words: (pride, darkness, depression, anger, lost, broken, selfish and dead)
But now because of JESUS my life is found alive in His words:
(Humility, light, joy, peace, found, whole, surrendered and LIFE) & many more!
JESUS is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE! God wants to place all of us into HIM! His purpose will be accomplished.
I know that was a lot, but thank you for staying with me through it! Today, my marriage is alive and resting on the ROCK, we have two wonderful kids: Caroline Grace and Isaiah Daniel. We are experiencing a unity together like never before because of the unity that we have with our Father! My family has experienced the wonders of His grace time and time again! Beltway Park Church is our home and we are so thankful to be apart of this incredible family!
Oh yeah! This is a bio for my position at Beltway Park Church! So how did I get here? Well right after God changed my life, I was in a season of searching because everything now looked completely different. There was a lot of unknowns and I wasn’t sure where He was leading me, but I was trusting him regardless. My family and I were completely in His hands. I found out about the internship program at Beltway.
I spent a season as an intern with Beltway Park where I was able to work with Missions, College ministry and Student ministry. In this time I was asked to interview for a co-director position over Kids Club/Summer Club at BPC. I’m so thankful I was accepted for this position! It was during this time that God really developed His “Father heart” within me and gave me the vision to see everyone as family! Here is where my passion to live, speak and show others the love of God became everything to me!
I have been on staff with Beltway Park since mid 2017. Currently I have the incredible honor and privilege to work alongside Nathan and Faith in Student Ministry! I have been in this role since December 2019 and I’m beyond thankful for the opportunity to pour out God’s love and encouragement to our younger generations. The motivation of my heart is to see people awaken to the reality of LIFE in GOD. I want people to know God as Father and see who they truly are because of what Jesus has accomplished. I want them to know it’s not something for later, it’s something for now!
God’s pursuit of you is never-ending! It is eternal. He won’t stop until he has your heart and even when he does, His pursuit of you will continue! So with all encouragement, let go and surrender. Because in the end, LOVE WINS. More Info